What's Mine Is Everybody's: A Culture Study, Part One

“You weren’t going to use that can of peas, were you?” My neighbor walks in unannounced and heads straight to the shelf in my kitchen. She picks up the can of peas and starts to walk toward the door again before I have a chance to tell her, “Of course not, please take them!” To most if not all of you, this probably looks really rude. But that’s the thing about culture—something that is unacceptable in one culture is completely normal in another.

A lot of hurt relationships and miscommunication can happen when we aren’t aware of each other’s culture. I personally believe that all cultures should be celebrated; but more importantly, I believe that all cultures have a right to be learned and understood. No culture is inherently better or worse than another. Even though there are days in which Dominican culture drives me crazy, there are other days where I feel very privileged to be experiencing it. And so, to celebrate the Dominican culture as well as help others understand it better, I have decided to write a three-part post on some of bigger aspects of Dominican culture, specifically the culture of the bateyes. Today my focus will be on material possessions.

We Americans tend to be very possessive of our possessions. We take pride in the things we have been able to earn for ourselves, like our cars, televisions, houses, etc. If someone wants to use our possessions, the correct thing to do is to ask permission first, take proper care of the item, and then return the item back to its owner in a timely fashion. Our system is polite, respectful, and orderly.

And it is completely irrelevant in the Dominican Republic.

In the Dominican, if you have something then it is meant to be shared. I noticed this especially after I moved to Batey 7. My neighbors would constantly come in and sort of ask but actually just take things in my house to use. If I hadn’t already lived in the DR for over a year this probably would have bothered me a lot. But I understand now that this is the rhythm of life.

Why is this aspect of culture so drastically different from the culture in the United States or other developed countries? I think it is derived mostly from economic status. Many people in the batey can’t afford to buy everything they need or want, so they live interdependently with their neighbors to meet their needs. Maybe I have some rice and my neighbor has some beans. Separately we wouldn’t be able to make much of a meal but together we can whip up something that is both delicious and sufficient to feed both our families.

The same thing happens when people walk in and take my stuff. It’s not as if they are just constantly stealing my things; living in such an interdependent community means a lot of give and take. Sure, my neighbor took my peas, but she was using them to make enough food to give to me as well. I traded my can of peas for a prepared, home-cooked meal (and honestly, I think I came out on top with that one).

One day a friend walked into my house while I was next door and took a bucket I had because he needed to carry some plantains. He returned it a little while later without saying please or thank you. It wasn’t rude; I had a bucket that I wasn’t currently using and he needed a bucket in that moment. The logic is as simple as that. And plus, I would be taking my empty jugs to his house later that day to use his tap to refill my water supply since I don’t have my own tap. Give and take.

I am constantly loaning my flashlight to my friends so they can shower when the electricity is off, but they let me use their washing machine to wash my clothes. I let them borrow clothespins and take drinking water, and they let me use their fridge. When the power is off we use my computer to watch movies, and when the power is on we go to my friend’s house to watch her television. Working together we have a better quality of life than we would if we were alone. On reflection, maybe that’s why people play their music so loudly here—they are providing music for those who can’t afford to buy gigantic speakers. Or maybe they just like their music loud. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.

This give and take shouldn’t become some sort of competition or judgment, however. In my American mind I want everything to be fair and even. If my neighbor gives me things I want to repay her in kind. I don’t want to feel like I owe her anything or that she is giving too much of herself while I am not giving enough. This can start a maddening sort of list in your head in which you weigh out everything given and received and try to work out who is “winning” or if you need to give more. That’s not the point, and it’s also not healthy. Maybe today you have more to offer than your neighbor does, and you should give freely. Tomorrow might bring hard times for you and your neighbor will be able to give more. It’s not a game to keep track of. You have received freely, and so you should freely give. 

A couple of years ago I would have hated this lifestyle of interdependency. I was very possessive of the things I owned (especially my food!) and I also didn’t like having to depend on other people to meet my needs. Those two attitudes aren’t wrong; they are just a different way of living. There is definitely something to be said for independence. I still enjoy my independence by living by myself and taking some alone time every now and then. And maybe I have a secret stash of cookies to share with me, myself and I. Is that so wrong?

But Dominican culture has changed me. It has challenged me to think differently and to act differently. I hold onto my belongings more loosely, and I ask for help more willingly. I see life as a beautiful sort of dance, and I love to watch the people around me living life together, and including me in it as well.

This aspect of Dominican culture reminds me of the verse in Acts about the early Church: “All the believers were together and had everything in common” (Acts 2:44). That is a pretty accurate description of life here. We are together and have everything in common. What’s mine is everybody’s and what is everybody’s is mine.

Except for those cookies…